While the process is difficult, I wouldn’t call it horrific. I call the way trans women are treated by society horrific, a way that too often tries to tell us we aren’t who we know ourselves to be. Society has blood on its’ hands for that.

In contrast to that horror: for most post-op trans women, every day they wake up, they take some join in having a body that matches who they are. They might even be happy. So that makes me happy.

I don’t try to define “woman” or “man” or any other gender or to engage in the nature/nurture debate. I know I need to breathe without knowing how exactly the chemistry and biology behind how my body uses the oxygen I inhale, or what exact process produces the carbon dioxide I breathe out. Likewise I trust that people know if they are a woman, regardless of how much is social or biological or spiritual or something else entirely. And I’m not sure it matters outside of intellectual debate.